Filed under Masculine Endeavors

#HowISpentMySummerByMattGates

Well, I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, but in my defense, I’m extraordinarily lazy.  What can I say?  If slothfulness were an Olympic event, I’d lose because I’d never even make it to the stadium.  Either that, or I’d totally win due to not showing up and they’d have to ship the … Continue reading

#ImGonnaNeedMoreDuctTape

I am not a handy person. I’ve been staring at a pile of cull* plywood and 4 foot sections of landscaping posts lying on the floor of my office/guest bedroom/recording space/love bodega for the past two weeks thinking “Now what?”. Now what, indeed. I know what I wanted to make out of it, but as … Continue reading

#ThreeYearsSmober

Believe it or not there was a time not that long ago when I used to be cool… …suave… …and dead.  Effing.  Sexy. *Yeah, not really.  And to this day, I still can’t remember why I took a picture of myself coughing after a bad drag. But after spending most of the first decade of … Continue reading

#PostHolidayWrapUp

Sorry for the light posting as of late, but the combination of being out-of-town for a couple of weeks during the Christmas season plus being in a food coma for most of December has made it really difficult for me to put on my humor hat. And then after I got home from my trip, … Continue reading

#AndNowTheConclusion

When we last saw our hero at the end of Part I, he was abandoning his cats to the possibly violent depredations of a burglar whom he was sure was hiding behind the almost closed door of the front bedroom and was just about to call the police. So now, may I present to you, … Continue reading

#LoveAndRespectAndHorticultureOhMy

How was your weekend? Really?!  Uh huh, uh huh…Wow!  And the Zimbabwean ambassador never knew that you had borrowed his Rolls Royce to go drifting?!  Awesomesauce!  High five! Well gee, now my weekend sounds kind of lame in comparison… I started it off by attending a Love & Respect marriage conference (I was working undercover) … Continue reading

#AccordingToGym

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone for the visions of Jim Belushi making out with Courtney Thorne-Smith that just went racing through everyone’s head. Secondly; today all I have for you is a list post. OH NOES!!1!1  A list post?!  Really?? Yeah, sorry.  It’s Friday and my thinker hurts. Anyway… I joined … Continue reading

#ToBeardOrNotToBeard

Well, the end of October is fast approaching kids and you know what that means.  That’s right, it’s almost time for—No Shave November! For those of you who don’t know, No Shave November, or Novembeard as some guys like to call it, is an extremely masculine, month-long holiday wherein us manly men (not so fast … Continue reading