In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I would be super lazy and put up a post that I’ve put no real thought into.  Kind of like that bouquet of droopy flowers and box of stale chocolates you’re planning on buying at the gas station on your way home to give to your sweetie.

So here are a few rejected candy heart slogans, double-spaced so it looks like I put way more effort into it than I did.  And just in case you were wondering, some candy hearts have a lot more writing space than others.

At least for the purposes of this post.

You’re welcome.

I tried to think of a clever caption, but this is just way too awesome to mock.

Rejected Candy Heart Slogans

Be My…Really Good Friend

Marry Mel!  Seriously.  He Loves U Way More Than I Do.


UR My 3rd Favorite Sister Wife

Side Hug Me

UR Such a Nice Guy!

Looking Adequate

UR The Best!!!  (I Could Get)


Cootie Pie

UR the Kris 2 My Kim

1st Five Candy ♥s R Free $2.99 For Each Additional ♥



Nice Pants!!!

♥ of Pyrite

I Would Sit Thru “Twilight” 4U

U Remind Me of Mother

Cell Mate

Bris Me

I Would RT U Anytime

Happy Ferris Wheel Day!

UR A 7–7.5 Tops!!!

To Blave

I Luv U Almost As Much As Nickelback Luvs Writing The Same Song Over & Over & Over & Over (Continued on Next Heart)

& Over & Over & Over & Over & Over & Over & Over & Over & Over Again.


What are your Valentine’s (or Ferris Wheel) Day Plans?

What would you like to see printed on those candy hearts?


For a beautifully written, much more meaningful take on Valentine’s Day check out my friend Kristen’s post on the holiday.

23 thoughts on “#RejectedCandyHeartSlogans

  1. Almost made “Sweatheart” typo just this morning in V-Day e-mail, but spell check saved me. But spell check did NOT save me the night I wrote that I loved her beautiful “beasts”. Damn!
    Funny post! 🙂

  2. ha! He’s baaaaaaaack.
    I do and I don’t want to know where you found that candy heart…sculpture…

    “Side hug me.” Hilar. Oh the awkward side hug.

    My plans tonight involve short denim shorts, hot pink duct tape, and a soccer ball. ha! My soccer team plays on Tuesday nights and since Valentine’s happens to fall on a Tuesday, we thought we’d have some fun with it. If I think about it, maybe I will post a team photo. Also, I’m curious if the guys will show up in denim short shorts. I’m a little nervous about that one…

  3. Oh goodness – the side hug just made me laugh and want to cry a little – all sorts of funny bad memories today on that topic (vented on Sharideth’s blog). I guess a “don’t touch me” heart would be in order today then… As for what I’m doing – Tuesdays are my 12 hour day at school, so avoiding a meltdown is what I will be doing.

    And as an aside – yay you’re back!

  4. In my opinion, being willing to sit through “Twilight” for anyone is a sign of true love & devotion. That’s like willingly going to the rack.

    • I’ve watched one Twilight movie (the one with the shirtless, redneck, Native American werewolves), but that was only because it was the Rifftrax version and even that made it barely watchable.

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