So what do you do if you want to write a blog entry, but are completely stuck for ideas?

If you’re anything like me you kind of just spout random, awkward, one paragraph thoughts until you have approximately 500-600 words for what is usually labeled a “stream of consciousness” entry.  Throw in a couple of quasi-related pictures and voila!  Blog done.  This is pretty much how I flirt as well and usually produces similar results, e.g. confusion, vague smiling/nodding and the sudden urge to be somewhere else; perhaps some place where you can look at LOLCats.

Boom.  And that’s how you get the first paragraph of a stream of consciousness post done.  4-5 more paragraphs to go.

Speaking of awkward flirting—last night at my buddy Michael’s birthday dinner with the help of a couple friends, I attempted to seduce our super cute waitress with a couple of Strawberry Kickasses from the batch I made for him in lieu of a cake.  Judging by her reaction after she tried one; if she HAD been single, I think I could have gotten at least a date out of her and perhaps the next 50 years or so in marital bliss.  Sadly she was not single…or so she said.  After the failed attempt I thought I heard her mumble something that sounded sort of like, “I CAN HAZ MOAR??” as she wandered away.

Speaking of cats with poor grammar, I need to buy some new pants.  Maybe I’ll do that today on my lunch.  The crappy thing is, I’ve got a weird body (smallish waist for my size, muscular legs, vestigial tail, that sort of thing) and finding pants that fit, but still look good is difficult.  As I can’t afford the really expensive tailored jeans, I usually have to buy pants a couple of sizes bigger than what I actually wear.  That leaves me with a slightly baggy look that I tried my best to leave behind in the 90s along with the plaid shirt I used to tie around my waist.  UPDATE:  Pants bought!  Managed to squeeze into some size 30s.  Breathing has become an issue, but the slight blue tinge to my extremities really brings out my eyes.


Speaking of tourniquets, who else went through a Christian heavy metal phase when they were a kid?  Anyone?  Anyone?  …Really?  Just me, apparently…

Note to self:  Do NOT tell them about your plans for a Stryper tribute band…and don’t forget to pick up your bumble bee spandex from the cleaners.

Also, order a case of Aquanet.

Speaking of clothes that should never be worn in public, LOOK AT THIS SHARK HAT!!!

It's true. There's no comeback for this.

…while I run away and hide amongst the LOLCats because even my non-sequitur-based stream of consciousness has dried up.


Fellow bloggers/creative people in general, what do you do to get inspired when you’re not feeling it?

What embarrassing musical tastes did you have when you were a kid?


37 thoughts on “#FillerPostLikeNickelbacksWholeCareer

  1. Yo yo yo yo yo!!! When I’m not feelin’ it some times I just write down the word yo. Also, I’m known to do a mike check or two. Segue–

    I dispute the syntactic validity of this sentence:
    Speaking of cats with poor grammar, I need to buy some new pants.

    But that’s okay. I think the reason that girl didn’t give up the digits was because she had her mind on LOLcats.

    Funny post. I liked the avatar reference.

  2. Sandi Patti – I was all over her Live Concert cassette… I think you and your readers are the only ones other than my family who know that.

    As for blogging – well I have struggled – while I have two blogs to cover parts of my life because I chose to write as anonymously as possible it limits me on already limited topics of dating and running (my two blogs), add graduate school to the mix and the only time I find myself dealing with blogs is commenting on others. When I was blogging I would do about 4 to 10 in a sitting and then time them to go out, and then do that again, it normally gave me a week or so to come up with more. If a got really desperate I would normally rehash something done a year or so back

  3. For school, I once wrote a poem about not knowing what to write a poem about, which was well received. That’s pretty much all the inspiration I have to offer for that difficulty, as a glance at any of my blogs would prove that when I don’t know what to write about, I don’t post for six months till an idea compels me to post it. Jenn, on the other hand, has a very good idea about writing multiples when the muse hits and then sending them out on regular schedule.

    I see your shark hat, and meet it with a http://www.flickr.com/photos/discoweasel/3031161525/ I’m pretty sure that’s a call rather than a raise, but there you go.

    As for musical tastes, I was the kid who liked classical music and didn’t listen to rock. Tchaikovsky was and is my favorite. The 1812 Overture, Romeo and Juliet…that man could write music. I am scarred for life by being taught to sing “Ooey Gooey was a Wiggly Worm” for kindergarten graduation however. Although it did teach me not to play on railroad tracks, so there is that.

    Please enlighten me on why I’m supposed to hate Nickelback? I had no idea who they were till the bloggers started hating on them, and now I’m infatuated with the Rescue Me video. Not the song so much, but the video storyline is fascinating.

  4. I started my LIAR blog solely on the fact that WordPress recommends things to write about. Also, I steal anything Sharideth comes up with. Introduce some regular thing and I’ll probably steal that too. The embarrasing music taste I have now is that I still enjoy kid’s songs every now and then.

    • I’d steal stuff from Sharideth too except she knows where I live and could get there in under 10 minutes.

      And kids songs like Disney stuff or like Raffi?

    • I was really into Bloodgood, Whitecross, Holy Soldier and Grammatrain. 😀

      I think my first concert was maybe the Newsboys with openers Audio Adrenaline.

  5. Good thing your stream of consciousness post made me laugh. Although, I feel like your tweet said something about bacon and now I feel let down. And hungry.

    I try to write posts ahead of time, simply because I always want to tweak it a few times before it actually publishes. Unfortunately, life has gotten in the way the last few weeks so I’m limited to writing the night before. Oh well. As far as inspiration, you can always find a funny or interesting childhood/college/last month photo and tell the story behind it.

    I was only allowed to listen to Christian music when I was a kid, with the exception of New Kids on the Block. My first concert was Twyla Paris and we had front row seats. Somehow I managed to listen to the hard rock radio station without my parents paying attention to the artists or lyrics- this still seems like a great accomplishment and I’m glad that this led to much improved taste in music.

  6. “Speaking of cats with poor grammar, I need to buy some new pants….”

    This is quite possibly the greatest segue I’ve ever read on a blog. If I wore hats, I would tip mine to you.

  7. I used to love Petra. I don’t know if that’s actually embarrassing — they were pretty good, really — but I don’t plan to revisit any old Petra songs anytime soon.

    Also, I’m angry at your Avatar reference because I still want that nearly three hours of my life back. What a waste. That movie was the hot supermodel of movies: it looked great, but it had absolutely no substance. The writing was such that I actually laughed at a couple serious lines.

    • I have not seen it. The reviews I saw for it said basically what you just said except they said to go see it anyway because of the spectacle. I can’t enjoy a movie just because it has cool special effects so I didn’t go. #Winning

    • @Burrill Yep, that outline fits what I’d heard. I suspect I could probably enjoy Avatar as a cheesy sci-fi flick and ignore the message in it, whereas I despise Disney’s Pocahontas with all my being. But my despising of Pocahontas is entirely caused by the fact that it claims title to a historical story while completely ignoring the real history. Starting with the real Pocahontas being about 12 at the time she saved John Smith, and moving from there into a long rant on the actual personages, motivations, and outcomes of both natives and Indians that I shall spare you. 😀

  8. I went through a Christian rap phase. Eighth grade me was all about T-Bone. Considering reviving that phase…”ain’t no high if they Holy Ghost ain’t rolled up in it” #truth

    also, it goes without saying that I love the title of this blog post. but I went & said it, just in case

    • I think the only Christian rap I listened to was DC Talk and I really only started listening to them after they went into a more rock direction with Jesus Freak.

      The fact that I can to this day recite the entire prologue rap from “That Kinda Girl” off of Free at Last is a complete fluke. 😉

    • always down with DC Talk.

      Toby Mac, and the Mac is back no slack. On a DC track that’s jacked, beyond comprehension. I believe that I failed to mention that a lot of recognition when it comes to His position

      I love the things that are engrained into one’s memory for all eternity

  9. I’m pretty sure this is the only Christian heavy metal band/song I recall from my younger years:

    You’re welcome for that one. The good news is that I was actually able to find it on youtube just by googling, “Friendly Fire” lyrics Christian site:youtube.com <– still the only words I'm hearing in the song as I re-listen to it.

    Anyway… I own every Amy Grant cassette tape. Yup, I said it. C-A-S-S-E-T-T-E T-A-P-E. I even have some duplicates on CD. That's how I roll. Did you know that her and Sandi Patty actually make up about 10% of all Christian music sales!? #whoknew


  10. So yeah, found you via Love & Respect NOW. And I have been LOLing (or ROFLMBOing) for the past 5(?) minutes of reading blog posts. Dang, Matt, you’re funny!!

    I just want to know if you are a fellow RiffTrax fan… ’cause only someone who has watched Twilight with RiffTrax would have that caption on the fauxNavi dude up-blog-ways. Please say yes.

    Aaaaand, precisely why does Nickelback suck? I too have heard the “They sucketh. Muchly” statements (including from NPR) but no further explanations. I seek enlightenment, and you’re the nearest guru. Help.

    • Thanks for reading! I’m glad you like it.

      I am a Rifftrax fan, but I haven’t seen the Twilight one yet. I’ve heard about the “Llllllladies” line though.

      The “Nickelback Sucks” thing is pretty much a meme at this point because there are a lot of other popular bands that are awful, but they get special recognition mostly having to do with all their songs sounding the same (several of which that use the exact same chord progression) and having a VERY formulaic quality as well; including really generic, sophomoric lyrics.

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