Yesterday I made my not-quite-yet-but-hopefully-someday world-famous dessert invention, Strawberry Kickasses, for my Wednesday night Bible study (Don’t worry Thursday night Bible study; I’m making some for you too.).  After posting a picture of the finished product on Twitter, I received several tempting marriage proposals and quite a few requests for the recipe.

I have it posted on my Facebook, but as that one is the old recipe before my latest improvements, I decided I would go ahead and post the updated version here for my culinarily inclined readers.  Also, I have a little writer’s block and couldn’t think of anything else to write about today.  So without further ado, may I present:

Strawberry Kickasses

I know, right?

What you’ll need:

2 quarts strawberries
1/2 lb chocolate almond bark
5 oz dark chocolate chips
1 tsp cayenne pepper, more or less to taste
8-10 German spice cookies, also called speculaas or spekulatius cookies that I get from Aldi.  A lot of people refer to these as windmill cookies as that’s how they’re shaped, but not all windmill cookies are spice cookies.  Check the label.
1 bar chili pepper infused chocolate
1 bar white chocolate

Cheesecake filling:

8 oz Neufchatel 1/3 fat cream cheese
2 oz Sour cream
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tbsp vanilla

This makes about 40-50 depending on the size of the strawberries, but generally speaking, when I make these I double the recipe depending on the size of the party/gathering I’m attending.  Last night’s Bible study had 7 people and we pretty easily polished off 40 or so of them and mine wasn’t even close to being the only food there.


1.  Prepare the strawberries by rinsing them, removing the leaves, coring them and cutting off a little bit of the tip (It’s just like being a fruit mohel!) for added stability later on.  Put the strawberries in a colander and let them drain.  If you get too much moisture in melted chocolate it starts to seize up just like grandma used to do.  J/k.  Love you grandma!

2.  Using a blender or food processor, turn the spice cookies into crumbs.  Put the crumbs in a bowl and put it off to the side.

3.  Break up the almond bark and melt it along with the dark chocolate chips.  You can use the microwave, but I prefer to use the double boiler method as the constant heat keeps the chocolate viscous for a longer period which is key when you want to dip things in it.

4.  While the chocolate is melting prepare the cheesecake filling by mixing together the cream cheese, sour cream, powdered sugar and vanilla.  I would recommend using a hand mixer for this.  Load up a pastry bag or pastry bag substitute with the cheesecake filling and put it off to the side.

5.  After the chocolate is completely melted, stir in the cayenne pepper testing frequently to make sure you get the heat level you want.  Leave the heat on low to keep the chocolate nice and melty.

6.  Okay, now you’re ready to dip.  First, grab a strawberry and pat it dry with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture and then dip the bottom half of it; first into the chocolate and then into the spice cookie crumbs.  Put the double-dipped strawberry on a cookie sheet to harden and repeat until all the strawberries are coated.

7.  After the strawberries harden (which shouldn’t take that long as almond bark is made to tighten up almost immediately after it’s removed from heat), use your pastry bag and pipe cheesecake filling into each hollowed out fruit receptacle of deliciousness.

8.  After each strawberry is filled, use a vegetable peeler to shave curls of the chili infused chocolate and the white chocolate over the top of them.

9.  Chill for 20-30 minutes in the fridge.  The strawberries; not you.  That would be kind of cramped I’m thinking.  Unless you’re a contortionist.  It would still be cold though.  Just don’t do it.

10.  Enjoy.  Take them to a party, and guys; if you make these, prepare to have women fling themselves at you…in their rush to stampede over the top of you to get to the Kickasses.  Still…women will touch you!  Hooray!


Do any of you have an awesome recipe that you’d like to share with the group?


21 thoughts on “#RecipeToWinFriendsInfluencePeople

  1. Thanks for sharing this. As someone who loves baking and trying out new recipes (plus, who doesn’t like chocolate and cayenne pepper?) I will most definitely be trying this out some time in the near future. Question though… are these cookies available at a grocery store, or some sort of specialty shop? I’ve never heard of them (8-10 German spice cookies, also called speculaas or spekulatius cookies).

    • I get them at Aldi. A lot of people also call them windmill cookies, but not all windmill cookies are spice cookies. You kind of have to check the label.

      Also, you can really use whatever cookies you want. I’ve used graham crackers, Nilla wafers and pecan sandies as well and they all work. These just taste the best to me and the spices in the cookies go really well with the spice in the chocolate.

  2. Made a variation of these for Mothers day and brought them to my mom at work. #InstantAmazingDaughterPoints

    So can I get a clarification here? Is it CHILI POWDER or CAYENNE PEPPER? Major difference – which I know because I once ate some chili where one was mistaken for the other, producing intestine-searing results. Cayenne + Chocolate I’ve heard of. But Chili powder + chocolate? Sounds dubious, but I wouldn’t rule it out all together without trying it.

    • Just out of curiosity, did you get the recipe from me or does someone else have something similar out there?

      It’s definitely cayenne pepper AKA ground red pepper. It has a nice heat, but dissipates quickly.

      The chocolate bar that you shave over the top just has a picture of a chili on the package so I’m not sure what all is in it pepper-wise, just that it’s delicious. 🙂

    • My sister saw the idea on Pinterest a few months back, but they looked no where near as pretty as yours and had no chocolate. What are strawberries without chocolate??

      Our recipe required that you hollow out the strawberry some (if you use large strawberries at peak season they’re practically hollow anyway) We used the tub of no-bake Philadelphia cheesecake filling to stuff ours and it was great. Plus, there were leftovers. Which we used as graham cracker dip for the following week. Win-win.

      We also dipped ours in dark AND white chocolate. I will never make standard chocolate-covered-strawberries again. I will have to make this cayenne infused version this holiday season! Here in Cajun country anything with cayenne is a hit.


    • I used to use the Philadelphia cheesecake mix as well, but after making it from scratch around a year ago and seeing how easy it was to do and how much better it tasted, I’ve never gone back. Plus, I believe it’s actually less expensive than buying the tubs.

      Hmmm…I wonder how I could go about putting this recipe on Pinterest? How does that work, anyway?

    • When you join pinterest they give you a “pin it” button in your browser bar. By clicking that you can essentially “pin” any photograph to your “pin boards” and the photo will link to your site. I’ll pin it and you should start seeing the blog traffic.. 🙂

    • Not gonna lie. They’re pretty amazing. I made a batch of around 50 for each of my 2 Bible study groups and there weren’t any left over at the end of either night. 🙂

  3. Pingback: #FillerPostLikeNickelbacksWholeCareer | #LifeInHashtags

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