Yesterday I made my not-quite-yet-but-hopefully-someday world-famous dessert invention, Strawberry Kickasses, for my Wednesday night Bible study (Don’t worry Thursday night Bible study; I’m making some for you too.). After posting a picture of the finished product on Twitter, I received several tempting marriage proposals and quite a few requests for the recipe.
I have it posted on my Facebook, but as that one is the old recipe before my latest improvements, I decided I would go ahead and post the updated version here for my culinarily inclined readers. Also, I have a little writer’s block and couldn’t think of anything else to write about today. So without further ado, may I present:
What you’ll need:
2 quarts strawberries
1/2 lb chocolate almond bark
5 oz dark chocolate chips
1 tsp cayenne pepper, more or less to taste
8-10 German spice cookies, also called speculaas or spekulatius cookies that I get from Aldi. A lot of people refer to these as windmill cookies as that’s how they’re shaped, but not all windmill cookies are spice cookies. Check the label.
1 bar chili pepper infused chocolate
1 bar white chocolate
8 oz Neufchatel 1/3 fat cream cheese
2 oz Sour cream
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/2 tbsp vanilla
This makes about 40-50 depending on the size of the strawberries, but generally speaking, when I make these I double the recipe depending on the size of the party/gathering I’m attending. Last night’s Bible study had 7 people and we pretty easily polished off 40 or so of them and mine wasn’t even close to being the only food there.
1. Prepare the strawberries by rinsing them, removing the leaves, coring them and cutting off a little bit of the tip (It’s just like being a fruit mohel!) for added stability later on. Put the strawberries in a colander and let them drain. If you get too much moisture in melted chocolate it starts to seize up just like grandma used to do. J/k. Love you grandma!
2. Using a blender or food processor, turn the spice cookies into crumbs. Put the crumbs in a bowl and put it off to the side.
3. Break up the almond bark and melt it along with the dark chocolate chips. You can use the microwave, but I prefer to use the double boiler method as the constant heat keeps the chocolate viscous for a longer period which is key when you want to dip things in it.
4. While the chocolate is melting prepare the cheesecake filling by mixing together the cream cheese, sour cream, powdered sugar and vanilla. I would recommend using a hand mixer for this. Load up a pastry bag or pastry bag substitute with the cheesecake filling and put it off to the side.
5. After the chocolate is completely melted, stir in the cayenne pepper testing frequently to make sure you get the heat level you want. Leave the heat on low to keep the chocolate nice and melty.
6. Okay, now you’re ready to dip. First, grab a strawberry and pat it dry with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture and then dip the bottom half of it; first into the chocolate and then into the spice cookie crumbs. Put the double-dipped strawberry on a cookie sheet to harden and repeat until all the strawberries are coated.
7. After the strawberries harden (which shouldn’t take that long as almond bark is made to tighten up almost immediately after it’s removed from heat), use your pastry bag and pipe cheesecake filling into each hollowed out fruit receptacle of deliciousness.
8. After each strawberry is filled, use a vegetable peeler to shave curls of the chili infused chocolate and the white chocolate over the top of them.
9. Chill for 20-30 minutes in the fridge. The strawberries; not you. That would be kind of cramped I’m thinking. Unless you’re a contortionist. It would still be cold though. Just don’t do it.
10. Enjoy. Take them to a party, and guys; if you make these, prepare to have women fling themselves at you…in their rush to stampede over the top of you to get to the Kickasses. Still…women will touch you! Hooray!
Do any of you have an awesome recipe that you’d like to share with the group?